"Ban facebook" says Savita Bhabhi

Disclaimer: This post is written with the intention of pure humour and anybody if hurt, can report me, those parts will be removed. The “Savita Bhabhi” site is banned by government and writer is not advocating or promoting the same.

     Endangered Species times

 In an exclusive interview with endangered species, Puneet Aggrawal, the CEO of revolutionary portal (Savita Bhabhi - The sexual adventures of a Hot Indian Bhabhi) told he is going to request government to ban the facebook. CEO of Savita Bhabhi expressed his anxiety over the loosing marketing share to foreign company and government numbness toward the situation. Following is excerpts from the telephonic interview.

“Before entry of facebook, the porn site was a face for freedom and liberalism in India. According to Honkong based research agency Alexa, Savita Bhabhi was the most popular site among Indians. And even it surpassed Chacha Chowdhary comics (which was published only in 6 languages), it come in 11 Indian languages beside English. Savita Bhabhi, the revolutionary character inspired many people not only in India but also all across the world. It actually led to the internet revolution in India as its story progressed on daily basis. After reading 1pages daily, the youth who had paid for one hour at internet cafe usually did productive things. But after the entry of F***BOOK, whole dynamics has reversed. People are devoting more time on F***Book and its silly games & applications.”

On Answering, why Government should ban, he quoted an incidence which happened few days back in Mumbai when a father committed suicide after finding his 8 years on having more friends on Facebook. He further added about one another incidence happened in a leading business school where the topper of institute was not able to concentrate on studies. She was depressed on the fact that she tried very hard, even she copy pasted inspirational thoughts on her status but was not able to grab attention and comments while the dumbest students were doing very good.  He clarified that these type of incident never happened before as Savita Bhabhi was something personal type. One didn't have to share the relationship status, not even the colour of inner wears and the life was easy.

Before taking flight to Delhi, Puneet Aggrawal posted on facebook status

“Farmville & Fishiville are deviating youth from actual farming which could hamper our economy. Applications are so addictive that children are not getting time to play national game ‘cricket’.  Moreover, it is making people weak in English words and grammar which could affect the BPO industry in long run.”  

Finally, ganguli sacked Shahrukh khan from Kolkata knight riders

        Vs           =                 Ganguli sacked Shahrukh khan 


                                        

March 23, Local correspondent, endangered species.

“After losing two consecutive matches in IPL 20 -20 matches, ganguli said we lost all due to missing X factor in Kolkata Knight-Ridder. He further added that all our players are performing very well and even we lost only few wickets in these matched. As far as I am concerned, I played extremely well. I have previously also mentioned that our team is missing X factor but our team owner was not ready but going by my personal intuition I have sacked Shahrukh. It is a very big personal loss but I cannot do favoritism. And enough is enough.”

In exclusive interview with endangered species correspondent, Ganguli told that for winning a match I have to do some rituals like removing my shirt on ground but Shahrukh  forbade me and told that those things were X rather XXX type of thing. Even he was not allowing him for various totkas like wearing special T-shirts, tabiz. Even though he showed outstanding innings, his team lost. He further added he has requested Lalit Modi that he should be allowed to play for each team and up to eternity also. He further demanded he should reposition as Indian cricket team captain in all possible format. In order to save the game Lalit Modi fulfilled his all demands.  

Disclaimer: Content of this blog, is a work of fiction. Readers are advised not to confuse the "news reports" of Endangered Species as being genuine and true.  

After IIM's, IIT's are on verge of closing

corrospondent,Endangered species, new delhi

“Now IIT’s are under threat of closing down under the intense competition faced from IIPM. Due to famous marketing strategy named “dare to think beyond IIM” and full page ads in leading newspaper IIM accepted defeat. Actually they fumbled against IIPM’s strategy. Now IIT are new target of IIPM and we IIT’s has no other option to close down.” said Surendra Prasad. ‘director of IIT delhi.’

Talking to our correspondent director of IIT delhi told that previously also there was cut throat competition. Our student strength was reducing due to ‘imperial college of engineering’ in which has alumni like Ranchor das chanced alias wungchuk bangdu alias aamir khan, Sarman joshi & madhwan . Ragging happened in that college de motivated many students to take other courses which our esteemed competitor was selling previously. But now, the problem is horrible. We also tried to start ‘4 t of technology’ on the line of ‘ 4 p’s of marketing but it failed miserably. Even we started our own venture techmen technologies to recruit all our student as planmen does, but it failed to create that impact. We even tried road blocking in term of publishing ads on all pages (full page ads) in leading newspaper throughout the week but it was unable to draw attention to students. Now, we have tried all the thing but we are left behind in competition against unique strategy of IIPM. Now we are hopeless  and we may close down IIT’s.   


disclaimer: Content of this website, is a work of fiction. Readers are advised not to confuse the "news reports" of  blog as being genuine and true.

a letter to..............

to,

the education minister,

aaryavrat

subject: instant urge to start new courses in mba in society

sir,

i want to inform you that there is an instant urge to expand the course  structure from finance, hr, marketing to some more courses like home management, political party management, chai-pani management, love life management and riot management. It is not based on fluke but after a good market research conducted by my own venture “society watchman pvt ltd”.

  Starting from HOME MANAGEMENT, where main subjects will be Dowry management, saas –bahu management(mother-daughter in law),fuel management, khusat (aged) management. The question arises why dowry management? It is because without  good managers in our society, often GROOMS are sold at very cheap rate and if proper planning and segmentation is done for target market and customer base by a skilled manager than this major problem can be solved. Second subject is saas-bahu management, which will include matching horoscope of both saas and bahu (not the bride and groom) because the tension starts when in-laws come in picture. So with this course, there will be less divorce  in society. The most important subject is fuel management because it is related to financial aspect.  Many times we find that more kerosene is used in setting a bride on fire which can be minimized by proper utilization of resources. Sometimes the burnt brides go to the police and all in-laws are sent to jail . If proper training is given to the in-laws than this will not happen. Thus this subject is very important. And lastly khusat management, which will teach the young generation how to throw your parents on road because they are useless .

     Next comes, the chai-pani management (bribe management). In india you have to give  CHAI PANI for all the government  related worker but the main problem is that this sector is not organized and there is no union for them. What we find is that many times, they are exploited by income tax officials and CBI and other agencies. What a shame for a country with maximum number of corrupt people, we are still hanging on the 7^th position in the list of most corrupt  nations. We should definitely do something about this.

  Another important course is love life management, which will teach how to write suicide notes, new ways of committing suicide, how to minimize the telephone bills ,how to invest on girls optimally, what sort of ammunition to use in case of a fight and the scope is immense.

             I hope you will agree to me on these issues and will start these courses in the near future. For this, the whole humanity will be grateful to you.

Yours Sincerely,

endangered spicies

CaT scan

Do not get panic, in this post i am not going to tell you anything about CT scan i.e. computed tomography which is medical imaging method for the purpose of examining the body ailments by the help of x-rays. but one thing is sure that there is huge similarity between CAT SCAN and CT SCAN. to startt with a very famous joke which you may find boring but anyway i have to increase my post's length so i will include it.the joke goes like as written belows:
      farmer: dagder babu,dekhiye na mera kutta mar gaya hai kya


   doctor kutte ko dekhta hai uske bad bolta hai


   doctor:haan,mar gaya hai


  farmer:per mera kutta mujhe bahut pyara tha mujhe chor ke nahi mar sakta


  doctor:chalo meri fee 50 rs dedo

  farmer:sahab,rs 5000  dunga per koi  medical test kar ke bata dijeye ki kutta mar gaya hai


 tub doctor ne apni billi(cat)ko mare kutte ke samne chor dia per kutta nahi bhokka


  tub doctor ne kaha ho gya believe catwa (CT) SCAN  bhi kar diye
(one day a farmer went to a doctor and asked whether his dog was dead ,on quick scanning doctor replied yes.but the farmer was still unsatisfied with his checkup so he demanded advanced checkup on this he let his dog to roam around the dog and told now even cat (CT)scan was completeand his dog was dead.....................bakwas joke)


 now coming to main topic that now CAT(combined aptitude test) has gone online sowhat i think that there are numerous similarlity between CAT and CT scan. first the common questions and responses :

1.  Do anything has gone wrong with you?
2. hey,it is too much costly!!!!!!!!!
3. may be you donot get profit out of it
4. which institute has recommended this for you
5. why not you go for MRI(Magnetic Resonance Imaging but for me....Mind Refurbishment In last job.....hehheeheeh)

 on reaching institute,some questions

1. tell me something about you
2. your weakness
3. your background(offcourse medical)

ok, after all these bakwas questions some serious (heehhe) similarities:

1. both are computer based test
2. both scan you and your body and its WEAKNESS only with x-ray view
3. you have to go for extra contrast agent(interview) test for better scan
4. many patient (student) who think them selves very fit  fad after getting the result
5. the result make some person very happy while rest weep in the corner saying they will no more live
6. if you undergo this test more number times the side effects increases exponantialy

 now,some serious dis-similarities:

1.  there are other good tests(MAT,XAT which are not computer based...thanks god) but for patient another reliable test which is not so costly is MRI
2. If you are recommended for CAT then you have healthy choice to not opt for it but if in the case of CT scan  you opt for not having it than.....(do it on your own risk....heheehhe)

as i am writing this post in afternoon so more good ideas are coming to my mind and i naver check my grammatical mistake because i can't do this.so anything good(or bad) comes in your mind your comments are welcome