a letter to..............

to,

the education minister,

aaryavrat

subject: instant urge to start new courses in mba in society

sir,

i want to inform you that there is an instant urge to expand the course  structure from finance, hr, marketing to some more courses like home management, political party management, chai-pani management, love life management and riot management. It is not based on fluke but after a good market research conducted by my own venture “society watchman pvt ltd”.

  Starting from HOME MANAGEMENT, where main subjects will be Dowry management, saas –bahu management(mother-daughter in law),fuel management, khusat (aged) management. The question arises why dowry management? It is because without  good managers in our society, often GROOMS are sold at very cheap rate and if proper planning and segmentation is done for target market and customer base by a skilled manager than this major problem can be solved. Second subject is saas-bahu management, which will include matching horoscope of both saas and bahu (not the bride and groom) because the tension starts when in-laws come in picture. So with this course, there will be less divorce  in society. The most important subject is fuel management because it is related to financial aspect.  Many times we find that more kerosene is used in setting a bride on fire which can be minimized by proper utilization of resources. Sometimes the burnt brides go to the police and all in-laws are sent to jail . If proper training is given to the in-laws than this will not happen. Thus this subject is very important. And lastly khusat management, which will teach the young generation how to throw your parents on road because they are useless .

     Next comes, the chai-pani management (bribe management). In india you have to give  CHAI PANI for all the government  related worker but the main problem is that this sector is not organized and there is no union for them. What we find is that many times, they are exploited by income tax officials and CBI and other agencies. What a shame for a country with maximum number of corrupt people, we are still hanging on the 7^th position in the list of most corrupt  nations. We should definitely do something about this.

  Another important course is love life management, which will teach how to write suicide notes, new ways of committing suicide, how to minimize the telephone bills ,how to invest on girls optimally, what sort of ammunition to use in case of a fight and the scope is immense.

             I hope you will agree to me on these issues and will start these courses in the near future. For this, the whole humanity will be grateful to you.

Yours Sincerely,

endangered spicies

CaT scan

Do not get panic, in this post i am not going to tell you anything about CT scan i.e. computed tomography which is medical imaging method for the purpose of examining the body ailments by the help of x-rays. but one thing is sure that there is huge similarity between CAT SCAN and CT SCAN. to startt with a very famous joke which you may find boring but anyway i have to increase my post's length so i will include it.the joke goes like as written belows:
      farmer: dagder babu,dekhiye na mera kutta mar gaya hai kya


   doctor kutte ko dekhta hai uske bad bolta hai


   doctor:haan,mar gaya hai


  farmer:per mera kutta mujhe bahut pyara tha mujhe chor ke nahi mar sakta


  doctor:chalo meri fee 50 rs dedo

  farmer:sahab,rs 5000  dunga per koi  medical test kar ke bata dijeye ki kutta mar gaya hai


 tub doctor ne apni billi(cat)ko mare kutte ke samne chor dia per kutta nahi bhokka


  tub doctor ne kaha ho gya believe catwa (CT) SCAN  bhi kar diye
(one day a farmer went to a doctor and asked whether his dog was dead ,on quick scanning doctor replied yes.but the farmer was still unsatisfied with his checkup so he demanded advanced checkup on this he let his dog to roam around the dog and told now even cat (CT)scan was completeand his dog was dead.....................bakwas joke)


 now coming to main topic that now CAT(combined aptitude test) has gone online sowhat i think that there are numerous similarlity between CAT and CT scan. first the common questions and responses :

1.  Do anything has gone wrong with you?
2. hey,it is too much costly!!!!!!!!!
3. may be you donot get profit out of it
4. which institute has recommended this for you
5. why not you go for MRI(Magnetic Resonance Imaging but for me....Mind Refurbishment In last job.....hehheeheeh)

 on reaching institute,some questions

1. tell me something about you
2. your weakness
3. your background(offcourse medical)

ok, after all these bakwas questions some serious (heehhe) similarities:

1. both are computer based test
2. both scan you and your body and its WEAKNESS only with x-ray view
3. you have to go for extra contrast agent(interview) test for better scan
4. many patient (student) who think them selves very fit  fad after getting the result
5. the result make some person very happy while rest weep in the corner saying they will no more live
6. if you undergo this test more number times the side effects increases exponantialy

 now,some serious dis-similarities:

1.  there are other good tests(MAT,XAT which are not computer based...thanks god) but for patient another reliable test which is not so costly is MRI
2. If you are recommended for CAT then you have healthy choice to not opt for it but if in the case of CT scan  you opt for not having it than.....(do it on your own risk....heheehhe)

as i am writing this post in afternoon so more good ideas are coming to my mind and i naver check my grammatical mistake because i can't do this.so anything good(or bad) comes in your mind your comments are welcome 

facta@b h u

my alma mater i.e. BANARAS HINDU UNIVERSITY is a place of which i am just fascinated of. it is  located in Varanasi, India.It is regarded as the largest residential university in Asia. The fully-residential campus has more than 128 independent teaching departments. Its 1350 acre (5.5 km²) campus was built on land donated by the Kashi Naresh. The total enrollment in the University stands at just over 15000, including students from all over India and abroad. Several of its colleges, including engineering (IT-BHU), science, linguistics, law and medicine (IMS-BHU), are ranked amongst the best in India.
        heehehehe................these were in the facts that are present in wikipedia and just copied down from it so no credits for it. now what i am going to write is the universal truth sorry the axiom for all who studied (or not..i don't know....heheehehe) in BHU. if you go and ask tell the Best SIX things in or about BHU ,the things which will come will be followin(may be order different):

1. PMC@BHU
2. VT@BHU
3. MMV@BHU
4. PEHALWAN @BHU
5. SS LAL @BHU
6. KULGEET@BHU

you may be amazed if you havn't studied in BHU but for BHU'ites it most common terminology.taking the first one PMC@BHU,it is very nice thing which means P-piya,   M- milan  C-chauraha  (the place were the lover meet or piya milan chuaraha:lover meet point)it is very secred place were only couple have fun,not to worry if  you are single this is a chauraha so one way goes to LANKA (were all the beauties of city roams),infront of it is MMV(which i will disclose later)one way goes to MADHUWAN(another lovers meet point)and lastly if your fate is so much screwed than there is SSL @BHU(again i will disclose it later) second is VT@BHU .this place is multi-purpose place V-VISHWANATH(BHOLE SANKAR)   T-temple.   if exam are coming than u have to come here.what i found here even a  atheist wud be converted in this temple so a lovely and pious place,beside it loverspoint, the one who are interested in foreigners can have lots of fun,some serius guys study here,some in search of MAHAGYAN or MOKHSHA, and some in mood of picnic.it means you can find all type of people here.third which comes in hierarchy is MMV where M mean mahila,another M  signifies maha and lastly V means vidyalaya in full mahila mahavidyalaya(women's college) were best of BHU girls RESIDE,study and roam with some lucky guys.and they meet at PMC@BHU.you can go in any direction if you are having a girlfriend from MMV@BHU because there are three ways there one go to VT@BHU another to MADHUWAN and the last one to LANKA.fourth one is PEHALWAN@BHU,actually in this thing people view may differ but its my blog so i am putting my views,anyway PEHLWAN@BHU is in LANKA(rabidas chauraha).it is sweet shop but you can't resist to go to this place for drinking milk even at 12 'o" clock in night or may be  later also.iy is just a small shop but you you donot believe me just type pehalwan in orkut community and find the no. of members. fifth one is SS LAL@BHU .actually it SIR SUNDER LAL HOSPITAL it is meant for general people( and students also ) but what i found is as it free of cost ad easily available for students ,they use it very nicely.(even i have visited this holy place 50 or 60 times in my 3 years of.......... and have utilised all the apparatus present there.especially x-ray ,MRI, ct scan, ultasonic,more advanced tests also what they call renal test, lead,cadmium and so on   ehehehheheheeh) last and not the least the most memorable thing about BHU is there you can make best friend,i bet friends for the lifetime.on the first day in ragging you have to learn BHU KULGEET by force but if you sing it twice or thrice i guarantee you will be addicted to it ,the friends will you make you will wish never go apart from you and you will nener want to leave the college. i have fount my friends, seniors who got the chance/succeed to remain inBHU  never left the college and their wish is do PHD  and become professor there.at last i wish to chant only the kulgeet   

sweet home

i have seen many regional language movies,20 or more in Telugu,10 or more in Tamil , few 5or 6 in Kannada and Malyalum,few in Bengali and few in Punjabi(but never seen movie in Bhojpuri which is my mother tongue......heehhehhe) but the best movie i have seen ever(in regional language) is BOMMARILLU .i have seen this movie with English subtitles but movie watching was a great experience.this movie is all about the relation between the father and a son .father who thinks what he does for is best (which i think every father of this world will agree) while the son just want to disagree for the sake of disagreeing ,the child always tries to have good images at home whether he drinks,smokes or fight outside home.....hhehheheehe.the songs are also very good.i was not able to know the exact meaning but got the essence.

      a must watch for all

women rights

gone are the days when laymen were talking about women liberation , now people are not talking about women power but how much power do women has and how are they utilising (heheeheh....misutilising). modern girls are not searching for typical stereotype man while  a man who is macho man.,singer, dancer,and much more on ...................a long list. and as advertisement are the mirrors of social aspiration ,dreams and hope so this add is showing the true image despite of the fact this add is not about thing but it depicting the same in indirect way
heheheheeehhehehe

innovation at its best

when i  saw this product for the first time i was amazed that if this gadget is possible in future also or not ,but just to check whether friends find the same or not i am posting it on my blog

Smart Internet search will be able to do with a mobile device in the NEAR future A mobile device with Touch screen, built in camera, scanner, WiFi, google map (hopefully google earth), google search, image search… Like this way, when you can see a building through it, it gives you the image search result right on the spot. Choose a building and touch a floor and it tells you more details of the building. You can use it when you want to know a car model, an insect name, what kind of food is served at a restaurant and how much, who built a bridge, etc. etc.

It's got a scanner built in.

so you can use it this way when you want to check the meaning of a word in the newspaper, book, magazine, etc. It would be much easier to read a real book. You can use the dictionary, wikipedia, thesaurus and anything else available on the web. What do you think?

Indoor guide:Works in a building, airport, station, hospital, etc.

Automatic simultaneous translation: here Latin to English.

Search keyword: Helpful when you want to find out a word from a lot of text in newspaper/book.

Nutrition: This kind of function would be helpful for health freaks..

Getting data of a weather forecast, maybe this might be possible

common saying during last week

                

These are the quotation made by our classmates during last week which were made by our classmates (including me) which can attract your  attention but those all comments  were not made to “HURT” anyone and neither is my intention to hurt anyone.  

1. तेरे ग्रुप में तो पति-पत्नी है तेरी तो बाट लग गयी..........
2. अरे सीआर का क्या वो तो पूरी बायस है.........
3. अरे उसको तो झेलना भी मुस्किल है............
4. अधिकारी क्या जानेगा क्लास में क्या चल रहा है............
5. हमारे ग्रुप ने सारे नोर्म्स पुरे किये थे तुब भी सीआर ने.............
6. सेक्शन अ में तो ऐसा हुआ..............
7. तुमने कभी उसके साथ कम किया है पूरा सेल्फिश और अर्रोगंत है.........
8. तुम्हारा क्या जा रहा है वो आ तो मेरे ग्रुप में रहा है...............
9. अरे यार, मेरे ग्रुप में तो सुब वीक है
10. वही लोग जो उनिटी की बात करते है ग्रुप तोड़ रहे है......
11. ग्रुप ३ rocks man!!!!!!!!!
12. मेरे तो फ़ोन में ही ५०० रुपीस खर्च हो गए
13. इ ऍम विद यू सिद.................
14. roommates को एक ग्रुप में नहीं होना चाहिए
15. और सब बढ़िया है न..............
16. दो साल को memorable बनाना है की नहीं...............
17. पुराना ग्रुप ही रहने दो न यार................
18. साले  वो मेरी बहन है...............
19. पप्म की मैडम को ही सारे ग्रुप बनाने दो न..............
20. अरे ग्रुप का क्या हुआ.............
21. इ हवे नो प्रॉब्लम विद एनी ग्रुप............
22. पुरे pgdm में ग्रुप स का groupism के कारन बदनाम हो गया है............
23. please mujhe us group के मेंबर से स्वप कर दो
24. \मै उसे dump  नहीं करना चाहती............
25. हमलोग चाहतेहै की सुब ग्रुप बन जाये तउब कीडा करे................ 
26. चल.फिर सुब बढ़िया है न...................
27. चलो हटाओ ग्रुप की बात..................
28. अरे यार,दिवाली के पहले ग्रुप का मामला सुलझने ही  मत दो.........

Modern “Mahabharata”

                Modern  “Mahabharata”

This is written with a intention of searching fun in a ordinary situation which aroused in our class.

     KRISHNA: khrbusinss school

     DHRITRASTRA: class

    GANDHARI: fraternity in class (by personification)

    BHISMAM PITAMAH: class representatives (both gender)

    SANJAY (THE STORY TELLER): atulvikas by his magical eyes “blog”

    KAURAVAS: the so called WEAK ( traitors , lazy, stubborn ands shilly-shally)

    PANDAVAS: the STRONG (doers)

   HASTINAPUR: friends in group/grades in term

It is very hard for me to name every character because list is very long and other important issues are there so I am starting the story with katha sar.

Gita sar: the group should be formed according to following norms

1.      Two hostellers /non hostellers in one group

2.      Atleast one commerce and atmost three commerce student

3.      Atleast two girls in one group

4.      Mix of so called strong and weak

Day one:

Gandari: swami ,you are blind so I am also going to cover my eyes so that I also      can’t see the world. There is no sense in having eyes when you have lost the vision and direction. Swami you have become blind in the affection of your sons and not foreseeing what can be the consequences in future due to this.

Dhritrastra: it true priye ,but what I can do in this situation. Now the war is inevitable.

The war has started and sanjay is telling the story to Dhritrastra.

Sanjay: RAJAN, time is very less and reader are votalite so I am telling the whole story in short.

            I am able to see the great war through my magic eyes. KRISNA has already preached the Gita and bhismpitamas  is lying on the bed of arrows and waiting for  death. ABHIMANYU was trapped by the kauravas and killed.

On hearing this pandavas got agitated and BHIMMA(I don’t want to name) took a pledge to kill the culprit and drink the blood. By the day ends bhima made a call to kaurvas and did much scolding. Hearing this BHISMPITAMAS cried even on bed of arrow and thought I have no power so why am I getting so much pain in this process.

He tried but all his efforts went in vain.

                                                          ……………to be continued 

Everyone writes love letter once in a life. Some writes it with ink, some with blood and some from the inner core of their heart. So nothing new that I have also written. I do not know why I did it but it happened. Before decrypting my clandestine love letter, I just wants to disclose the condition which lead to this situation.

10/2/2006. 5:10 p.m.

My roommate was talking to his girlfriend and I was sitting on the study table, suddenly a friend came and started talking about his girlfriend and the plan for the Valentine day. I asked they do have girlfriend while why I was still deserted. They started telling the secret mantras Agitated by their heart piercing provocation I replied what’s tough in it. They challenged me and I accepted.

I knew that what would be the outcome. But first of all I had to select a girl whom I could propose. By the night I decided the girl whom I would propose and the way of proposing. Following was the outcome in the form of my first “LOVE LETTER ".

10/2/2006 9:00 p.m.Supernakha(name should be not disclosed)........

I don't know what is in among us (rather nothing is in between us). First of all I want to make it clear that this is not a love letter. I just want to clear the misunderstanding which has aroused between us. Your face is not like angel so I can't give compliment on it. You are not so intelligent that I can call you a prodigy. Also, I have no intentions of giving roses to you and neither I believe in waiting for girl in garden for hours nor I will do the same in near future. It is a rumour that when one falls in love he thinks only about her beloved and nothing else but in my case it is just reverse, I am overeating and feeling lousy all the day but What have inspired me rather say provoked to write a missive to you is fidgetiness all caused by your mannerism which I can't resist. You have the talents to live happily in this trou-de-loup world. Your simple style of living has inspired me. Most important thing is that this riddle should be solved before it is too late and our exam arrives.



Endangered speicies.



11/02/2006 3:00 p.m.


When the last class ends,



E.S.:-YE lo
S.N.:-kya hai
E.S.:-dekh to sahi
S.N.(frieghtend):-nahi pehle batao kya hai
E.S.(authoritatively):-bataoo kya jo likha hai padh lo na
S.N.(frieghtend):-mujhe English nahi aati hai .padh ke bata do.
E.N.:-to abb tak kiya hai jindagi me jo English nahi aati hai.
S.N.(about to cry):-sorry, I will read at home.
E.N.:-no you have to read now and give answer.
S.N.:-(weeping)why, ye hira hai kya jo tum mujhe ghar le jane na
Nahi de rahe ho
E.N.:-ok , but keep it to you only




14/02/2006 11:30 a.m.


Result:
I never expected such a cheap behavior from you.same on you.Idiot…bla,blaa………


In this way first love story ends